It never fails, every time I start talking to women about why they’ve decided to commit to one of my programs, it starts out with a negative:
My stomach is poochy…
My butt is too small…
It’s impossible to lose weight…
I hate X body part…
…always negative. Don’t get me wrong. I know my job as a coach is to help women achieve their fitness goals. But what I’ve discovered is flaw focused fitness NEVER works. It’s essential to incorporate an proactive approach to digging deeper.
You aren’t born hating your body. You are taught how to. Unlearning self-hate is hard. When we start valuing ourselves in the present, our goals become more love driven. The way you think about your body has effect on what your actions and motivations on rooted in.
I want your goals to be rooted in positive self love motivated goals: work out and eat good because you love your body, not hate it.
My whole life I’ve been on the weight gain and loss roller coaster. Dieting for all wrong reasons, spending my life on the treadmill to the point of fatigue, skipping as many meals as I can- and despising my body and myself the entire time. To me, fitness and health was a form of punishment for not being good enough now.
When I struggled to lose even one pound, it became all consuming. When I didn’t lose it in the timeline I had planned ( i.e. drop 3 lbs for next months party, get down a size by summer) I’d say SCREW IT, and go right back to the self-destructive, self-loathing behaviors that got me here in the first place.
No wonder I was miserable and depressed. I hated me, and every action I took to correct myself was based in hate.
Looking back, after a lot of work to refocus on loving my body and actively focusing on treating my body like I love it, I have shifted my entire life. Sure, I still have moments of picking myself apart. I work on letting those go everyday. Self-love isn’t a one stop destination. It’s a continuous life long journey. It took a long time learning to hate my body, it’s not going to be unlearned overnight.
When I shifted away from flaw focused fitness and grounded my habits in health and happiness in the present, I’ve achieved something more than just a smaller jean size or weight. Ive achieved peace.
I know setting fitness and nutrition goals and working hard is important, but it’s not life consuming. It’s important to set goals that aren’t based on a timeline, number or reflection in the mirror. Those changes are a happy side effect of adopting this new mindset.
It’s time to unlearn the self hate and body shaming. It’s not easy, but it’s worth it. You’re worth it.
So how do I do that shelby?
Stop being a bitch to yourself.
I mean it. Next time you catch yourself standing in the mirror, pause. That nasty thing youre about your body, call your friend and say it to her.
Oh, you wouldn’t dare tell Karen her stomach is disgusting and her arms are too jiggly? No. You’d be friendless AND a new membership to the mean girl club.
So why do we talk this way to ourselves? Why are we such bitches to our own body?
Instead, set a goal that’s based on making you feel strong and brave? What goals will make you feel GOOD while achieving them?
Set those goals.
You are worthy now! Got it?
Let me repeat that. You are SO worth it.
Those negative thoughts that we kicked out the door, now need to be replaced with positive, motivating ones. Can’t find one?
Start small. What’s one tiny thing you think is bad ass about you? You have an amazing smile. You are incredibly kind. Anything. Come up with a list of them to readily sub in when your mean girl creeps in.
this creates a mind shift into self forgiveness and self- acceptance. All those amazing things you do or say for BFF Karen, do for yourself. Because you love yourself and are worthy. It’s time to start accepting you are and acting like it.
Working hard is important..
Now that we’ve committed to keeping our goals coming from a place of love and worth, you have to commit.
For many, this is the hardest part. In a society focused on convenience and moving fast, we want to believe that there is a simple quick solution.
THERE’S not. I know, ridiculous right? You mean you actually have to work at something and commit to achieving your goals? blasphemy.
But really, you have to be ready. This is why the self love and acceptance is so important. When you understand that health and happiness is a lifelong journey, and not a 21 day quick ‘fix’, you are more prepared. When you accept that your worth isn’t coming from your weight or size, you are more self-forgiving. |When your work is put in because you love yourself, you are unstoppable.|
No one can do this for you. No magic shake or pill with teach you to take care of yourself and make you healthy. Thats on you, boo boo.
Health doesn’t have to feel like torture.
Exercise because you love your body-fitness isn’t punishment. When you first start, it may feel that way. Give it a few weeks. It may take trial and error to find what you enjoy doing.
Eating ‘right’ shouldn’t make you miserable. There is no one size fits all for nutrition. That’s why all these nutrient eliminating or severely restrictive diets are so detrimental. You have to find the balance and plan that works for you and YOUR life. Eating is about fueling your body.
Relax. I mean it.
Your body and health didn’t get to where they are right now overnight. Unhealthy and unhappy are developed and grow over years of negative habits.
So if it took you your whole life to get to this current state of feeling unhealthy, why do we expect to wake up one day and be perfect and the shining example of health??You’re putting unrealistic and unfair when you expect to change over night.
Change comes from working hard for success, being patient while you learn new positive habits, and forgiving yourself when you are human and struggle.
Set some goals. Love yourself. Be brave and get Strong.
Originally posted 2016-11-05 19:24:51.