Here’s my PCOS story. condensed into 8 minutes.
Tonight I did something I haven’t really ever done.
I sat down, and told my PCOS story.
Doesn’t sound like much.
But if you suffer from the side effects of this condition, especially the infertility aspect of it, it can be one of the hardest things you’ll ever do.
But for me, I use humor and jokes to mask to hard stuff. Its my coping mechanism.
It stems from being the fat girl growing up and needing to find a way to stand out among all the skinny bitches.
But tonight, for the first time on social media, I didn’t coat my message or story in a pun or a sarcastic joke or a witty hashtag.
It was 100% me.
And I cried and cried before posting. I hadn’t really told anyone my whole story. My loss. My heartbreak.
But I’ve learned over the last year you have to be brave with your life, so that others can be brave with theirs.
I didn’t want to share that part of me. At all. I kept it locked deep down. Tucked away.
And don’t get me wrong, I share the shit out of my life on social media. Maybe too much.
But every time I post something vulnerable, I put my phone under my pillow and close my laptop. I walk away. I am too afraid to see the response.
Its the little people pleaser girl in me. Wanting approval. Wanting acceptance.
But you have to find acceptance in yourself. In all chapters of your story. All your battles and all your triumphs.
So I am a PCOS sufferer. I have experienced loss. I have felt grief no one can explain unless they have been through it. And I have kept that a secret from most until now.
But now, I will use it to help others. Don’t grieve alone.It’s a sad dark place.
But there is light after the darkness. I promise you. Sometimes it just takes you seeking it out.
Originally posted 2016-01-24 19:53:16.